Updated: Jan 23, 2019
Often, women get completely blindsided by motherhood.
Really early in life, we are spoon fed that the world is our oyster. That if we plan and work hard enough, we can do anything. We’re told that we can have careers, a fancy education, a partner, AND children.
The generation of women before us created the path and made it possible for us to have it all. In the late 1970's , the phrase and concept of a glass ceiling became wildly recognized and mostly referred to limitations put upon women, and minorities, in the workplace. With the advancement of feminism and a push toward equal rights for women, it became increasingly common for women to both acquire higher level professional positions AND manage a family. This juggling act of the "you can have it all" paradigm was offered up to our generation without a guide for how to keep all the balls in the air.
The vast variety of options for us was hyped and pitched and we, understandably, wanted it all. But, what is the reality? Is is realistic to have it all? Can moms manage a phat career, maintain a home life, keep a marriage going, and be the parent that they desire to be? The women before us made it possible but they didn’t leave the manual. It is up to us to draw out the diagrams that chart a path for the next batch of moms.
Now, add to this equation any lingering self doubt or pains of the past. Any Type A mom will tell you that she has some sort of “not good enough” messaging that rattles around in her unconscious. It propelled her to be an uber-achiever prior to baby but those same strategies just don’t work after children arrive and we naturally become overwhelmed. The "organized", controlling nature of moving through life and career worked when we had only so many pokers in the fire. When these strategies no longer work, we begin to second-guess ourselves and that old "not good enough" message starts playing on repeat. It’s a perfect recipe for a complete identity breakdown.
Figuring out who we are, while learning the new role as mom, is critical. Making sense of this whole dynamic can be life changing for the entire family unit.
Remember, we are defining the new motherhood roadmap. Complete with the peaks and valleys. What curves do you want to alert future moms to? Can you be clear with yourself and those around you in order to help pave the way for future families? This is your chance to craft a version of mommying that works for you and your family.